The Battle Between Living Life and Wishing it Away 

I feel like I’m in the middle of two seasons in my life right now.

One season that is definitely not my favourite season. Which is making me strongly believe that the next season will in response be the best I’ve ever had. Whether or not that is actually realistic is not the point. I’m barely living in and for this season right now because all my free time and free thought is being spent thinking about the future in anticipation.

I am essentially wishing away the present.

The Bible says:

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:”‭‭ [Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1]

What that means for me, right here and right now, is that there is a reason for where I am right now. I never seem to see and understand the reason behind why things happen, especially while they are happening, but that is what faith is: trusting that God allows things, situations and people around you at any given time for particular reasons.

Through this faith that I am exact where I am supposed to be, and the hope in a future where I continue to grow into the amazing, accomplished woman I’m called to be, I still constantly battle with restlessness about where I am. I want to be accomplished and established now. Now, now, now! But I am also very conscious that I still have a lot of growing and maturing to do so I can’t be there yet.

I guess, life is always going to be the battle of enjoying every season you are in, whether or not it feels good, while still hoping and praying for a better future.

In Steven Furtick’s book Crash the Chatterbox (if you have me on social media you’ll know I’m obsessed with this book!), he presents a letter from an established Austrian poet, Rainer Maria Rilke and a young aspiring poet. Rilke’s words are timely and when reading this section, I felt like they were written for me:

“You are so young, all beginning is so far in front of you, and I should like to beg you earnestly to have patience with all unsolved problems in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms, or books that are written in a foreign tongue. Do not search now for the answers, which cannot be given you, because you could not live them. That is the point, to live everything. Now you must live your problems. And perhaps gradually, without noticing it, you will live your way into the answer some distant day.” (Crash the Chatterbox, Pg 178)

I know he’s a poet so it’s a given to write beautifully, but I cannot believe how spot on this is. It is a nice reminder that through struggles, perseverance is built and by the time you come out at the end, you’ll begin to see why you came through the path you did.

I’ve deliberately kept this post quite vague. Firstly, to keep my business, MY business (lol) but mostly so you can apply it to whatever season you are in. Or if you are blessed and in a super joyful season at the moment, keep this one in your back pocket to bring out when you’re in a not-so-great time.

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

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