It was an honour to be able to attend His Royal Highness, Prince of Wales, Prince Charles’ 70th birthday celebration in London a couple of weeks ago. Six months before his actual birthday.
The ceremony was held in the Buckingham Palace Gardens and was for members of the different charities and organisations Prince Charles is the patron for or involved in any way in. I am a Royal Television Society (RTS) student so our organisation was given 10 tickets and I was asked if I would like to go alongside two other RTS Students.
We were told about the event back in February and invitations we sent to our house months before the date. I did not mention it to anyone outside of my family. People often wonder why I do not post or talk about events like this prior to the date, or achievements I get, and no, it is not because I am sworn to secrecy!
I just find it very awkward ‘bigging myself up’.
A lot of the time, I am just as surprised as everyone else as to why I am shown so much grace and favour. And I often struggle to accept that I may deserve the opportunities and good things that come my way. I think I may sometimes suffer from imposter syndrome and that results in feeling awkward and apprehensive about sharing stuff I do.
You may be thinking: ‘But Paula, you have been blogging and vlogging for six years now. You share so much of your life! How can you have imposter syndrome?’
Well… feelings of being fake or a fraud have gotten worse as I got older and as I have continued blogging and social media. Often it is a case of me obsessing over a caption for Instagram, tweet or blog post for a long while and then forcing myself to post it anyway. Some times I have to step outside of thoughts of uncertainty and think logically.
Did I work hard to get here? Do I deserve to be here? Does God want me to be here and do this?
When my answers are yes, I keep going and I do it! As Susan Jeffers said, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway.
Finishing on the event: it was fabulous. The food, the day outfits, the gospel choir, the touching speech for his father by Prince Harry with Megan next to him. Everything was so well put together, as you would expected from the Royal Family.