I’ve had multiple anxiety attacks over the last few days. I’m a little bit of a control freak so I don’t deal too well with uncertainty. With coronavirus (COVID-19), we are definitely in uncertain times.
In case you have been living under a rock, coronavirus – or COVID-19 – is a new illness that affects the lungs and airways (more here on the NHS website). It has become a worldwide epidemic, spreading rapidly and sadly claiming thousands of lives.
As it’s a new sickness, there is a lot of things about it we don’t know. We aren’t sure how it spreads and how to treat it, so in the UK, we have been called to avoid social interaction and self-isolate. Basically, don’t leave your house.
This is an interesting (and by interesting, I mean confusing and overwhelming!) place and time to be in right now. Our leaders don’t know what to do. I’m sure they are kinda winging it right now… what’s the next move without sending our country, people and economy into a complete meltdown. I really do feel for them.
Families, businesses, organisations are trying to communicate messages of strength, support and solidarity, while still putting precautions in place.
It’s such a weird time.
And for me?
Well… anxiety, fear and being overwhelmed have caused me much fatigue, stomach aches, headaches and restless nights.
I don’t think I’m particularly worried about catching the virus myself – I’m young and healthy and by God’s grace, I’ll be fine. I’m more worried about what this could do to the people around me. The elderly, people with pre-existing conditions and pregnant women are extremely vulnerable right now.
Coro coro disrupts social order and peace – the balance of life as I know it. And that terrifies me.
I live alone, away from my mum, my dad, my sisters, my brother, my dog, my cousins, my aunties and my uncles. I’m away from my family and friends. This has never bothered me as much as it does right now.
I usually love my own company – I find myself hilarious and lots of fun!! But I am also known to spiral in my own thoughts and I struggle to snap out of it. It can get lost in negative thoughts for hours and hours and before I know it, I’ve not slept all night.
You know your ‘strong friend‘? That’s me. I’ve been that person of reassurance and peace for people that need me.
It’s funny (but not like funny haha) how easily I can get into character and support someone else when they need it, even if I don’t feel reassured myself.
Feels good to get that all out. And the great thing is it doesn’t end there. It ends like it begins, with GOD.
I find a sense of real peace in the fact that God is still God and God is still good, even when situations don’t look like it.
I am constantly reminded of and reassured by 2 Timothy 1:7, particularly in the Amplified version: For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].
I HAVE POWER OVER MY THOUGHTS. I HAVE AUTHORITY OVER FEAR. I HAVE FAITH THAT GOD IS STILL (AND IN FACT ALWAYS IS) IN CONTROL. HE WILL WORK ALL THINGS FOR GOOD.
I am blessed to have this only platform (and my social media) to share the great things and opportunities that come my way. BUT I always want to be genuine, authentic and true to myself. I want to be a content creator that shows my real life, thoughts and feelings.
My imperfect-but-walking-daily-fighting-daily-trying-daily life.
A lot of my days have been full of anxiety recently, but that’s because I am trying to control and understand everything. As I learn daily to give up control to God and have the faith that He knows what He’s doing, I’m chipping away at the big block of anxiety that often affects my emotions, mood, even how productive I am.
In this time of super uncertainty, I want you to try God. Have faith that He knows exactly what He’s doing and that He is in fact good.
NO things aren’t good, but HE is. His very nature is good.
Pray for peace, pray for wisdom for those in charge and most of all, pray for God to have mercy on this world. He hears and He cares. Soothe your anxiety by having faith that everything will be okay.
I’ll end with a few verses to reassure you! Come back to these as often as you need to:
- John 16:33 – ‘I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.’
- Psalm 91 – the whole psalm is great but particularly verse 2: ‘I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’
- Isaiah 12:2 – ‘Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord Himself, is my strength and my defence.’
- Isaiah 40:31 – ‘But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.’
- Psalm 56:3-4 – ‘When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise – in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals [or anything AT ALL!!] do to me?’ brackets mine.
- Isaiah 41:10 – ‘So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.’
- 1 John 5:14-15 – ‘This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of Him.
- Lamentations 3:22-23 – ‘Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.’